In Much Ado About Nothing, William Shakespeare famously wrote: “When I said I would die a bachelor, I did not think I should live till I were married.”
The iconic line, written in the late 1500s, has had a lasting impact on young men for centuries. With the legalization of same-sex marriage in the United States, these inspiring words can truly resonate with gay men who now have the possibility to wed. To bachelor party or not to bachelor party—that is the question.
Marriage is fairly new to the gay couple in a legal capacity, and the accompanying, pre-wedding bachelor party is a pastime to consider when tying the knot. A tradition for the groom, the bachelor party has been celebrated longer than one would believe—thousands of years, to be exact. Records show that ancient Spartans around the fifth century BCE were the first to honor the groom’s last night as an unwed man, usually with a dinner and a toast. Later, “bachelor” appeared in reference to an unmarried man in Geoffrey Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales in the 14th century. Chaucer, speculated by scholars to have been homosexual, was also one of the first authors to use the term “gay” in possible reference to homosexuality in “The Pardoner’s Tale,” so there’s a vague, unexplored link.
Creating lasting memories and sharing experiences before the big day is the priority, and there’s no better bonding experience like a destination bachelor party.
It wasn’t until 1922 when the term “bachelor party” was first published (Chamber’s Journal of Literature, Science, and Arts), describing a “jolly old” party in Scotland. Bachelor party is also referenced with a slang term in different countries (“buck” party in Australia, “stag” party in the UK, etc). While these parties for the groom were first experienced with a certain level of decency, bachelor parties in America have proven to be wild, often drunken affairs. A certain stigma surrounds a bachelor party now, where party buses, strippers, shots, maybe blindfolds, and lots of booze anchor a growing tradition, with typical, low-brow behaviors depicted in classic movies (like Bachelor Party with Tom Hanks in 1984 and The Hangover in 2010). The message: the more you don’t remember, the better your bachelor party was. Stag nights can be low-key and intimate, however, and many groom’s best men are known to take the event to a mature level, helping to honor the gay groom-to-be’s last, unmarried nights with a mild, less-boozy affair shortly before he gets hitched.
Whether they go mellow or gangbusters, the whole point is to celebrate one unforgettable night before the groom begins a long, married life. The bachelor party is a rite of passage, generally planned by the best man, though experienced by all groomsmen and other male friends. Gay grooms should consider and accept a bachelor party the way any groom (gay or straight) would. After all, like marriage, which was initially designated for straight partners, bachelor parties are a tradition that gay men have every right to celebrate.
Some destinations are the ultimate stomping grounds for bachelor parties, garnering decades-long attention around the exciting hotels, restaurants, nightlife, and party atmosphere that make this time-honored tradition truly unforgettable. From Las Vegas to Puerto Vallarta, these North American cities have become legendary for destination bachelor parties, creating a buzz and culture around stag-night celebrations, and providing some serious memories for a soon-to-be groom’s last moments before exchanging vows. Whether an intimate, chilled-out party or a big, gay jolly group taking the festivities to the next level, bachelor parties in our five gay-friendly cities will unarguably be wildly (or mildly) epic.
Southern Decadence in New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS
With its vast gay history, party reputation, and festival fever, New Orleans knows how to throw a shindig, especially with the LGBT community. For instance, take Mardi Gras, the most well-known festival dating back to 1730. Records indicate that a Frenchman who spent time at the first festival was a cross-dressing enthusiast: “I had shaved very closely that evening and had a number of beauty marks on my face, and even on my breasts, which I had plumped up. I was also the one out of all my group who was dressed up the most coquettishly… In fact, unless you looked at me very closely, you could not tell that I was a boy,” (A Company Man: The Remarkable French-Atlantic Voyage of a Clerk for the Company of the Indies). Needless to say, public partying and being fab have gone hand in hand for centuries!
Gay bachelor (and bachelorette) parties are as common here as the dozens of annual festivals. Bachelors can famously go out with a bang, hiring a jazz band for a traditional second-line parade that dances through the French Quarter, a pastime for celebrations and a magnet for bachelor parties. To be in the middle of all the gay action, congregating at the intersection of St Anne and famed Bourbon Street is a must (you can legally drink on the streets), and bachelor party groups will certainly spend late hours at Corner Pocket. This no-frills gay strip club is rough around the edges, but packed to the bone on weekends where young go-go dancers amp the atmosphere with naked thrills. For a more low-key, yet still lively, atmosphere, head to Golden Lantern, one of the oldest gay bars in New Orleans and the official bar for the ever-popular Southern Decadence event. It’s a campy, dive-y watering hole for locals, where sweet bartenders serve up cheap, stiff cocktails. You never know what to expect (drag performances, live bands, food buffet) on any given night.
Speaking of food, hungry men head for The Country Club one of the most iconic places in New Orleans. In the emerging Bywater District, this country club (formerly an exclusive, gay men-only establishment though now open to everyone) offers scrumptious brunch and an outdoor pool for hot, lazy days. The club recently unveiled a massive renovation to its gorgeous interiors, hired executive chef Chris Barbato (from famed Commander’s Palace), and now serves up elevated dishes. For something more grubby, Port of Call, a burger institution for half a century, has garnered attention for its big, juicy, messy burgers. There are no reservations, and throngs of groups crowd outside during peak hours, so get there a little earlier to grab a big table. If you’re seeking atypical thrills, Jackson Square is set up with a collection of tarot card readers, paying tribute to New Orleans’ famously psychic past. For the real deal, book a reading with Cari Roy, the most famous psychic in the city who regularly appears on news programs as a celebrated intuitive.
For a sleepy city that never sleeps, New Orleans has the perfect balance of taking it easy or going extreme, and a selection of diverse accommodations helps steer you in either direction.
W French Quarter makes the perfect crashpad for guy groups. The central courtyard (with outdoor pool) is a great place to be seen, and afterhours partying is perfect in the suites, equipped with backyard patio and Jacuzzi. For bachelors with finer tastes, Ritz-Carlton New Orleans in a landmark, 1908 beaux arts Maison Blanche building, recently unveiled a $2 million restoration. Conveniently located on the brim of the French Quarter, the five-star hotel offers spacious rooms, elegant furnishings, a beautiful spa with indoor pool, and a club lounge fancier than you would expect (think chandeliers, antiques, and centuries-old paintings).
Casa Septiembre in Puerto Vallarta
PUERTO VALLARTA
Among the many bachelor party-friendly beach towns in Mexico, Puerto Vallarta remains a coastal haven for gay travelers. Groups hardly need to lift a finger with the renowned level of service, and getting wild can go as late (or early) as the sunrise here. Puerto Vallarta is the only Mexico beach getaway that’s chock-full of gay bars, lounges, and clubs, concentrated around Old Town, which makes bar crawls a must for gay men. Anchoring the scene is Mr. Flamingo, a relatively new gay bar right on a busy corner. Completely alfresco, the bar is compact, so patrons spill out onto the streets as pop hits blare on the sound system, handsome servers make rounds, and revelers dance in a tequila-fueled frenzy after hours. On the same block is Paco’s Ranch, a racy, loud, crazy dance club that often features drag shows. It’s as fierce as it gets in Puerto Vallarta, and it gives you good reason to knock back a Jell-O shot or two (yes, really, that’s served here). Naturally, all good things must come to an end, but not before a quick stop at Wet Dreams. The name of the club is exactly what you’d expect inside: go-go dancers and strippers, many showering live behind the bar, get extra friendly in an otherwise seedy (yet very tourist-driven) establishment. In fact, Wet Dreams is primarily marketed to tourists, enabling their vices, so don’t be afraid to dance with the gay devil in see-through underwear.
Casa Kimberly in Puerto Vallarta
The bachelor party doesn’t necessarily end when the clubs close. In fact, some people go straight from dancing shoes to Speedos considering the gay beach (located at the south end of famed Playa Los Muertos, the main beach on the coast) gets busy first thing in the morning. Here, throngs of eclectic gays parade in front of Blue Chairs Resort, a gayowned hotel next to Mantamar Beach Club where you’ll find a mix of locals, West Hollywood boys, and everything in-between. It will cost you to rent a beach chair (or use the outdoor, infinity pool) for the day, but it’s well worth the spend (approximately $20). You can order breakfast, bloody marys, and even massages without having to leave your spot. The view of both sea and men is perfection.
Eventually, you’ll have to sleep (or maybe not), so shack up at Casa Kimberly. Elizabeth Taylor’s former home, now an intimate boutique hotel on an unassuming cobblestone street. It’s designed to feel timeless with blue-and-white tiled staircases, courtyards and arched doorways, and mostly spacious rooms with breathtaking views of the bay. The elegant restaurant here, Iguana, is divine. It serves innovative, modern Mexican with the perfect hillside, sea breeze to add atmosphere. Casa Kimberly is not a party hotel, but it’s a short, convenient stroll to all the action.
Nothing beats a place you can call home, and gay-owned Casa Septiembre serves as a luxurious hideaway for gay groups. The nine-bedroom villa on a quiet, beautiful beach is a self-contained private oasis with outdoor, heated pool, personal staff (including bartender, villa manager and housekeeping), and a convenient location to Old Town and Blue Chair Resort (15-minute walk along the coast or five-minute taxi ride). All rooms flaunt their own balconies, bathrooms, and precious views, and there’s no request the staff can’t meet. You can opt to have fresh meals cooked right at home, and you get your own set of keys so no one can see you stumble in after an unforgettable night out.
