Hello, Utah! As soon I cross state lines via HWY 93 into the Beehive State, I run smack into the Bonneville Salt Flats, a 30,0000-acre salt pan and, I imagine, an ideal setting for car commercials. Like the vehicles in front of me, I drive right off-road and onto the flats, sputtering away from the pack in search of my own little haven in which to soak up endless horizon. The mountains to the west are the only interruption to this vast white canvas, so I prop my tripod upon the crusty earth, unfold my Pride flag, and snap a few pics.
Iโm not expecting a big bear hug from Lucas Horns, my Misterbandb host for the weekend in Salt Lake City, but he greets me with one and Iโm immediately smitten. (It doesnโt hurt that Horns is dressed only in a pair of short shorts). A mustachioed gent with a perfectly chiseled chest, sculpted no doubt by his five years as a professional dancer with prestigious dance company Ballet West. Lucas makes me feel at home right away. His industrial loft is located in the heart of downtown and exudes an amazing queer energy thanks to touches like a pair of rainbow Doc Martens, a drag coffee table book, and other cheeky tchotchkes.
Pioneertown
Photo: Jason A. Heidemann
After about an hour of chatting, Lucas sends me off to dinner in the artsy Sugar House neighborhood while he heads to a dance gig happening on the back of a flatbed truck. His dinner rec is on point. Finca offers Spanish small plates in a romantic bungalow-like setting. I order way too much, including a croqueta (Spanish ham and cheese fritter), patatas bravas (crispy potatoes), tosta de setas (toast with mushrooms), and a heaping plate of roasted chicken thighs. Even though my belly has now swelled to the size of a dirigible, thereโs room for a nightcap.
The city is alive and crackling tonight thanks to SLC Open Streets, a COVID-friendly initiative that has brought bar life to the great outdoors. I snag an al fresco table and sip an Old Fashioned at White Horse Spirits & Kitchen, one of many craft cocktail bars crowding Main Street. Itโs here that a local asks me a question Iโll hear many times: โWhat do you think of Salt Lake City?โ Even though it is a tiny metropolis, I have to admit Iโm thus far impressed.
Iโm startled the following morning, not by the 8 A.M. kitchen alarm that blares like an over-caffeinated rooster, but by the sight of my naked host bounding out of his bedroom to silence it. The surprise isnโt that he looks amazing in his birthday suit, itโs that heโs up early to play tour guide for me.
Lucas has generously set aside a few hours to give me an insiderโs tour of SLC, starting at the bustling Downtown Farmersโ Market where he fuels up with cold brew coffee. I am already properly hydrated and sated thanks to breakfast at Vosenโs Bread Paradise, a German bakery known for its flaky and amazing croissant and jelly doughnut hybrid the Croiliner.
As we stroll the city streets, Lucas spills SLC secrets and all kinds of Mormon gossip (though he himself was not raised LDS). We pass a largescale mural, a feminist reimagining of Sgt. Pepperโs created by Jann Haworth, a Salt Lake resident and co-creator of the actual Pepperโs album cover. Lucas points out SLC Brewing Company, a craft beer hall famous for brews like the Polygamy Porter, and we stroll past the allegedly haunted Peery Hotel. We also visit Temple Square (buried under scaffolding) and the Capitol Building, which sits up on a hill to showcase the state governmentโs dominance over the Mormon Church. I learn that Mormons are obsessed with genealogy and that a river runs underneath the city. As a gesture of thanks, I treat Lucas to lunch at Evaโs Bakery, a downtown boulangerie open for outdoor dining.
Amargosa Opera House
Photo: Jason A. Heidemann
Even though Lucas and his beau have to dash away to a photo shoot, he still steers my itinerary which includes a visit to emerging gayborhood 9th and 9th, where Pride and BLM flags are ubiquitous. At Dolcetti Gelato I order a scoop of passionfruit (I am, after all, a passionate fruit). Next, itโs a stroll through pretty Liberty Park (the likeliest spot for sighting shirtless men) and onward to The Living Room, a tourist-trod, but supremely satisfying hike that ends with expansive views of the city and mountains (but also layers of haze thanks to the wildfires).
Tonight, I will do something I have not had the pleasure of doing in many monthsโvisit a gay bar! But first, dinner. At Pallet, I study the bare bone of my pork shank with the intense eye of archaeologist. Iโm searching for one last piece of tender meat while wondering how it all disappeared so fast.
